Lost

Lost returned to our screens this week in typical what in the name of Jaysis is going on style.

 

RTE were generous enough to give an hour long retrospective of the first five series. Five series of bunkum and conundrums in one hour.

 

Large chunks of the story were missing and at least half of the significant characters were completely ignored. Anna Lucia, Mr Eko, Boone, Shannon, Rose, Bernard, Vincent, Libby, Michael, Walt, Penny and many others didn’t get a look in.

 

In all fairness, you’d need a week long recap if wanted to give any first time viewers a sporting chance of understanding what’s going on. It was just a very broad run through the backstory.

 

The recap posed questions that I don’t think the writers considered. How did Juliet learn to be a mechanic? How easy was it to convince Jack to go back to the island ? Locke just knew his Dad’s name - that’s what obituaries are for. How did Clare get onto a plane when she was 8 months pregnant? I thought  that was illegal. How chubby Jack in the first episode?

 

And that’s just the questions they didn’t want you to think about. Try factoring in all the puzzles that they want to pose.

 

This last series is strictly for those who’ve been suckered in for the last few years. Maybe you came in in the first series, maybe the second – but that’s the brink of fashionable tardiness. Don’t bother turning up to the party now.

 

After the recap we began the new season with a double episode.

 

We start with a flashback to the plane aaaaand... NO! Rose was in the tail end. She couldn’t have been sat next to Jack!!! And Sawyer’s hair is long again!! And Hurley’s facial hair is thick again!! They don’t know what they’re doing!

 

These were the first things that struck me. How could a show based on creating and solving mysteries in its viewers’ heads mess up basic continuity. This left me very very worried.

 

I managed to put these worries to the back of my head and get back into my usual state of optimism that the writers knew what they were doing. I switched my brain to the slow cycle and made the following obsevations: Kate still looks hot even after a nuclear explosion. They got rid of that 1977 bollix quick enough. The actor who plays Boone is back, no Shannon though. She’s was one of the main reasons I got into the first season. Sayid’s wounds are the first time Jack hasn’t bother trying to surgery someone back to life.

 

Reviews from the States had suggested that this first episode would be short on answers but there was one big one. The Smoke monster is the man in black who was doesn’t like Jacob. The guy in black also exposed himself as the new John Locke (with the original John Locke being more dead than I would have liked). This was a major answer in my book and filled the explaining stuff quota in one big swoop.

 

Of course, it does lead to the further questions of who is this dude and what was his beef with Jacob? Other questions that presented themselves over the course of the double episode were: What did Juliet mean by “It worked”? Why does Jin have all that money? When did Sun peak hotnesswise? I don’t think it was too long ago. If the bomb trick worked, why are they on the island aswell? Is Sayid dead or what?

 

A good few people died in this episode so that means that their stories don’t need to be resolved, but several also returned from the dead so don’t surprised if some them pop back up further down the line.

 

So we’re two hours into the last season and there are still a bunch of questions that don’t look like they will be resolved. How did the others get there? Why can’t women have kids on the island? Where’s Claire? What’s the deal with Christian? What’s the deal with Jacob? What’s that big statue about? Is it an island or something else? Why do people keep believing Ben?

 

I don’t really care about most of those things though. There’s only one answer I’m looking for. Who is Kate going to pick?